We Are the Face of Motherhood: a Series on Postpartum Depression

I have to admit that I have been putting this off for some time.  I first heard about this endeavor in late 2016 and wanted to share and be part of this movement. But, figuring how and what to share has been difficult.

I had another post written. I detailed those first few days and weeks after the birth of my first son and explained to all you beautiful, wonderful people how much I was going through. I expressed in my best words how it felt, why it was happening, and all the things that were working against me.

And then I stopped.

If we are going to end the stigma, we must begin by ending the thought process that our feelings need to be justified or validated by others.

I stopped because I was justifying my feelings. I was trying to justify the fact that I struggled for months with undiagnosed postpartum depression. I explained everything that was going on because I didn’t want you to think I am weak.  I so want you to understand my deep struggle and the visceral heartache that still plagues me that I wrote a very meaningful piece that did nothing.  I think it would have been fine, or even good, to share all of those things for the simple fact that I know other moms feel the exact same way right now [and dare I say that moms well beyond those newborn days feel the same? Moms of toddlers, elementary school kids, preteens, teens, and beyond? Moms who have lost children, moms who never got to meet their babies, moms who adopt, moms who perhaps never got to have children at all?].  My post was true and deep and meaningful and difficult, but I do not believe it was the right post for this cause.

This cause is about ending the stigma of postpartum depression – PPD – and postpartum anxiety – PPA.  If we are going to end the stigma, we must begin by ending the thought process that our feelings need to be justified or validated by others.  It certainly feels good when we someone else understands the way we feel and why we feel it, but even if no one else ever understands the way you are feeling, you are still dealing with depression, and that’s okay.

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This is after we got to our recovery room. I had been awake for about 36 hours at this point and just had a C-section. 

I want you to know that it is okay to deal with depression even if you had a beautiful birth, just the way you wanted.  It is okay to deal with depression even if you have a beautiful baby that you cherish, love, and adore. It is okay if you have depression even though breastfeeding went well for you.  It is okay to have depression even if your baby sleeps through the night.  It is okay to deal with depression whether you prayed for your child for years or you had no idea motherhood was before you. It is okay.

Our first picture as a family of 3

There is no qualifying list, no one way depression manifests itself.  In the midst of postpartum hormones and sleep deprivation, depression can seem like it will take care of itself if you can just sleep, just relax, just get away, just have one minute to yourself.  And sometimes it does, but other times, in darker times, it sticks around.  It follows you like a lurking shadow.  No matter how bright the lights are, the shadow is still there, attached to your every move.  The shadow is not nimble, it is cumbersome, it is exhausting.  Your shadow is a physical weight that you carry on a daily basis, an emotional sink that you keep pouring into, but never fills up.  The shadow clouds your judgement, you ability to think and concentrate, your patience and ability to deal with your ever-changing emotions.

One of my favorite pictures, but one that I forced myself to take because I knew, someday, that I would want to see pictures of his little face.

There are signs of PPD/PPA, certainly, and I had many of them.  I felt disconnected and numb. I told myself I HAD to take pictures and I HAD to tell Vincent that I loved him everyday because I didn’t feel like doing either of those things. I wanted to get away from the baby, but as soon as I was away I dealt with anxiety that something terrible would happen while I was gone.  I was irritable and impatient with the baby, but as soon as I felt myself snap I would melt into a big ball of tears. But the fact of the matter is, you can hide these things if you really want to.  The shadow can continue to follow you if you let it, and many times, no one else realizes it’s there except for you.

We must act. We must speak out. We must advocate for each other. And in order for women to seek the help they need, we must end the stigma.

You can read more about my newborn experience here.  I won’t detail it in this post, but I will tell you that I was struggling and I didn’t know how to tell people I was struggling. How do you verbalize a change that happened so quickly you don’t have time to process it? It’s more than, “I’m having a hard time.” I wish I would have said something. I wish I would have had help. I wish I would have known how to do more than take the 2 minute survey at the doctor and be told my feelings were normal.  [and yes they are normal, but there was MORE going on and I wanted SOMEONE to see it and identify it FOR me, I just wasn’t able to do it myself]

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So what I want to share is this: it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to struggle. And it’s okay to ask for help, even if you don’t know what you need or what help looks like. If you start to ask for help you will find relief and reprieve, you will find healing. The road will not be easy, but it will be worth it.

I would also add that as a culture, WE MUST SLOW DOWN.  If you know a new mom, slow down enough to look her in the eye and say, “How are you doing, really?” And when she says, “Oh I’m fine, just tired,” look her in the eye again and repeat, “Really?” I fear that our culture has become so fast, so focused on posting the perfect Instagram picture, so busy, that we won’t slow down enough to see people who are hurting, struggling, and in need of a friend.  New moms especially fit into the category. Your ENTIRE world was just changed and now you have the responsibility of raising a tiny human. The pressure, the loss of independence, the sleepless nights, the physical recovery that has to happen all while caring for a newborn is more than anyone has ever dealt with before and it is okay to not be okay.

I give you permission to not be okay.

So, mama, I give you permission to struggle and need help. I want you to know that people see you and hear you.  We know the heartache and we are here for you. We want you to feel free to share what is going on so that we can better help you.  We are here, and we are here to stay.  It’s okay to not be okay.

{Think you or someone you know may be struggling with postpartum depression, anxiety, or another mental health disorder? Please contact your health provider including your OBGYN or family doctor. Need more information? Visit Postpartum Support International for great information on maternal mental health disorders and more. If you fear you or someone you love may be contemplating suicide or facing a mental health emergency, call the Suicide Prevention Hotline and get to your nearest emergency room.}

 

5 Things That Made My 2nd Pregnancy Suck Less

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If you know me at all you know that I am not a huge fan of pregnancy. It’s okay and I guess its cool to feel the baby move, but really I don’t care for it.  Being nauseated, an alien being flipping around in your stomach, the aches and pains of your body relaxing to accommodate this big thing growing in you.  I could really do without all that. But thankfully I found some products that helped me cope better the second time around and I wanted to share them here!

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Beautycounter Balancing Face Oil

The first thing that I am so thankful for is Beautycounter’s products, especially the balancing face oil.  My skin in my first pregnancy was TERRIBLE.  On top of feeling disgusting because I was pregnant, I also felt terrible because I wasn’t confident with my skin.  Everyone kept saying, “oh your skin will just glow!” – well this was not the case for me.  This time around, though, I am using Beautycounter products and they have made such a HUGE difference!  I think that the balancing face oil is the one product that I can’t give up, but there are a few others that I would also recommend for pregnancy and post-pregnancy skin.  If you struggle with skin issues (whether you are pregnant or not!) I would be happy to talk about options with Beautycounter for you!

Here is my website if you want to browse (specific link to face oil in the caption): http://www.beautycounter.com/amypietch

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Leachco Back n’Belly Contoured Body Pillow

Okay – this is by far the best purchase that I made for this pregnancy. I wouldn’t say that I sleep as peacefully as the lady above (is she even pregnant???) But it does make me much more comfortable! I really like that there are pillows on both sides, this has really helped my back and hips.  It also means that when I turn over I don’t have to rearrange all the pillows to try and get comfortable again.  I actually flip it the other way so that the open end is at my head, then I can use my own pillows for my head.  There is a downside – this pillow is HUGE. We have a queen bed and Bryan gets maybe a third of the bed these days. I think if you have a King bed it would be fine, but it’s tight in the queen. Thankfully, my husband knows how important sleep is for me so he puts up with the pillow, but I’m pretty sure he is counting down the days until it’s gone.

You can get it on amazon prime here: https://www.amazon.com/Leachco-Belly-Contoured-Pillow-Ivory/dp/B0002E7DIQ/ref=sr_1_14?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1471785251&sr=1-14&keywords=body%2Bpillow

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Bai Bubbles Drinks

Okay so if you are TOTALLY cutting out caffeine, then this one isn’t for you. There is a small amount of caffeine in these drinks (about 25 mg), but for me this is the perfect amount!  I loved having these mid way through my day as a little treat and pick-me-up.  The flavors are incredible (Pink Grapefruit is my favorite, but all the flavors are great) and they were something different from just plain water all the time. It was nice to have a sparkling fun drink option. You can purchase directly from the website here: http://www.drinkbai.com/voyager-pack or at Costco (which is where we get ours)!

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Vegan Smart Nutritional Shake

 

 

 

 

Next is this meal replacement shake by Vegan Smart.  Especially in my first trimester I was very nauseated every morning. It was terrible. I didn’t want to eat ANYTHING but knew I needed to get nutrients in my body.  This was a great option for me!  I could make this shake in the morning and shake with ice cubes so it was super cold (which was the only way I could stomach anything) and I knew that I was getting some good nutrients every morning.  I had tried other shakes, but many are soy based which my body does not do well with.  This shake is soy and gluten free but packs 20g of non GMO protein.  I still drink these daily, as soon as I wake up, to make sure that I am getting some good nutrients in the morning.  It blends pretty well (sometimes I get clumps, but if I use a blender bottle its usually pretty smooth) and the taste is actually quite good. I have only tried the chocolate, but it’s not super chalky which was another requirement of my first trimester stomach. This was a life saver for me with second baby!

Again, available on amazon Prime here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00FYD5MVA/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

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Guys – I cannot explain what a difference good, supportive shoes make.  My feet hurt SO BADLY with Vincent and never fully recovered after the pregnancy.  The only shoes that really made my feet feel okay were sneakers and I can’t wear those to work and they are too hot for summer so this pregnancy I was on the hunt for something better. Thankfully I discovered Born sandals! I picked these up at DSW and they are FABULOUS!  I don’t know exactly what is wrong with my feet – high arches, overpronation, or something along those lines – but these shoes are super supportive (they come all the way up the arch of my foot) and cute! And sandals! So many good things.

So these are 5 things that really helped me feel better in my second pregnancy – what else has helped you guys feel your best while being pregnant?

When you [don’t] love your baby

This blog post has been a long time coming, but it’s one that I keep putting off.

It’s a hard topic to talk about, but a few interactions recently have made me realize how important it is to share about the reality after your baby shows up.

So here it is…

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Prior to Vincent arriving people would ask me if I felt prepared. My answer was almost always, “as prepared as I can be.”  I knew that motherhood would be like nothing I had experienced before, but I also knew that I was a strong person who had lived through difficult experiences so I knew that I could conquer life with a newborn.

No matter what people tell you or what you think you are prepared for, no verbal explanation can explain the first 6-8 weeks of motherhood.  The first 8 weeks were especially difficult for me. I don’t know that I was suffering from postpartum depression, I was actually vigilantly looking out for this because I have suffered from depression in the past. No, what I felt was complete distance from who I used to be with this new life that now depended on me for everything.  I was extremely sleep deprived, away from family, and had a husband in the midst of nursing school and clinicals.  Many days, it was all me all day with a newborn. And many nights I was getting about 30-45 minutes of sleep between feedings while my newborn slept on my chest because he hated being set down.  One day I went from being an independent and self-reliant individual to a mom, and that’s something that no words and no verbal explanation can prepare you for.

Most of all I didn’t feel like I loved my son. I remember when Bryan brought me Vincent in the hospital and I literally had to tell myself out loud “this is your baby, this is Vincent!” But I wasn’t excited, I wasn’t overwhelmed with any sort of feeling really, I felt next to nothing.  I went through the motions, started nursing, tried to sleep (which in the hospital is a joke).  We took Vincent home and I continued to do the things that moms are supposed to do, but it all felt detached. It didn’t feel genuine, it was an obligation, a responsibility that I was now stuck with and no one else could really help with. Bryan did everything he could – he would be up late studying and hold the baby so I could sleep. He forced me to take naps and made sure I was eating while he was around.  But it’s not the same as being a mom.

The most difficult and most unexpected transition was the loss of independence. Suddenly, you have to think and plan every hour of every day to make sure that you are able to provide for your child.  Since Vincent hated being set down, this meant that I literally had a baby attached to me almost all the time.  Being a very independent individual, this was shocking and revolting to me.  Whenever people would come over I would immediately hand over Vincent because I just didn’t want to hold him anymore. I remember telling myself that I had to take pictures of Vincent because SOMEDAY I would want to look back and see how little he was (and that definitely DID happen! Now I wish we had more pictures of those early days).

All of this made me think that I didn’t love Vincent. I would physically make myself tell him that I loved him every day, because I knew that deep down I probably did love him even though I didn’t FEEL like it.

What I learned is that newborn love is a different kind of love.  I was used to relationships with reciprocity.  Babies don’t do this.  You pour out into your little one and you get crying, sucking, and poop in return.  Don’t get me wrong, there were some precious moments, but mostly it was just trying to make it through another day. What I realized was that I DID love my baby because I was doing everything I needed to do in order to care for him. I was nursing him, holding him so that he would sleep, cuddling him, cleaning him, and learning how to be his mom.  This is how you love a newborn – you survive, you learn, and you do what you can every day.

Our feelings lie. Especially sleep deprived hormone driven feelings.  Feelings come and go, like the ocean tides. They well up and overflow and then they dry out. Actions don’t lie. Actions show who and what we really are.  So if you are having a hard time and your actions are to seek help, tell your doctor, ask for assistance – this is you loving your baby.  If you feel like you don’t love your baby, but you nurse him every time he is hungry and then walk him around for 45 minutes at 3am because he is fussy, this is you loving your baby.  If you are a natural and you just have the mom thing down, your actions are still what demonstrate this love.  Babies feel loved by being taken care of, protected, cuddled, swaddled, and being nestled against mom or dad. They experience love in safety and comfort, not words or expressions.  I know that Vincent felt loved because we did everything he needed in those early days and on those really hard early days, I knew that I just had to act like I loved Vincent no matter what my feelings were telling me.

I recently heard of another mom who was experiencing the same feelings that I was during this early period.  My friend was concerned and shared her story with me. I asked if I could write her a letter.  I later had the pleasure of meeting this new young mom and she thanked me for the letter and encouraging words.  So here is a letter to all new moms and especially moms that don’t feel like they love their babies.

Dear Mama,

I am so proud of you. You brought new life into this world and now you are literally sacrificing your own life, sleep, and sanity.  It is not easy, but somehow you are doing it.  I remember those early days and I remember how difficult the first few weeks are.

I remember that I didn’t feel like I loved my baby and maybe that’s how you feel, too. But I want you to know that YOU DO LOVE OUR BABY.  You are doing everything you can for your child, and this is love. You are working hard to feed and nurture, hug and cuddle, figure out sleep and adjust to this new life. It’s a hard adjustment and it takes time. YOU CAN DO IT!  Take things one day at a time, each day gets better.

I promise that things get better. Nursing gets easier, sleep gets easier, you figure out how to balance your own needs with your baby’s.  But it takes time. I know that days feel like weeks and it seems like it will never end, but I promise you will both survive.

I am so proud of you and the effort you are putting into your little one. Remember, ask for help and tell people what you need. Pass that baby off every chance you get – catch a nap, take a shower, take a break. It is important to take care of yourself so that you can care for your child.  But every time you change a diaper or sit down to nurse, I want you to know that those actions clearly show you LOVE YOUR BABY.  Despite what your feelings tell you.

Good job mama – You Rock!

My favorite things {baby edition}

Recently, I had a friend ask me about what she really needed for her new baby.  If you have so much as stepped inside a box store in the last century, you realize the enormity of products available for new babies and moms.  Getting your registry together is a ridiculous overload of decisions and pressure to choose the right thing all while your hormones are going crazy and you are questioning why you ever wanted to have a baby in the first place.

Thankfully, before I started my registry I had a close friend who warned me of the perilous journey that baby registries can be. So my first bit of advice is to make an online registry.  We used amazon.com for our registry because it was super easy and they have basically everything [including a 60″ TV that my husband insisted on listing ‘just in case’ someone wanted to give us a gift].  Also, everything gets shipped to your house! Babylist.com is another great site because you can add items from any website and then just mark them once they have been purchased.  This was much easier for me than going to a store. I could add a few items a day and then if I forgot anything I just popped in and added it!

Outside of where to register, I also told myself (daily) that all we really needed were:

1. a car seat to bring the baby home

2. a place for the baby to sleep

3. something for the baby to wear

4. diapers

If we had those things we could survive. This helped me eliminate the anxiety of needing everything on the list in order to function with a newborn. But there are several products that made our lives better. Some things we bought before Vincent came home, but the majority of items we picked up along the way.  We didn’t have tons of money since Bryan was in school so we tried to pick up a lot of stuff second hand or borrow things we knew we wouldn’t need long term. Here are 10 items I would recommend purchasing before baby joins your family:

  1. A great car seat. We went with Evenflo Convertible. I wanted a car seat that would grow with Vincent so we wouldn’t have to buy multiple pieces throughout his life. Also, I have a hard time with the click in car seats because they are so bulky and cumbersome when you take them out. Here is the car seat we purchased: //ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=tf_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=theprapea-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B01BI7JC5W&asins=B01BI7JC5W&linkId=5QHOVFDJ7XCB46MG&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true
  2. A nice set of nursing pajamas for the hospital.  Okay, this one is for your ladies.  I was so glad that I was gifted a beautiful three piece pajama set before I got to the hospital.   First you feel weird and you are still huge, so comfortable pjs are a must! But I got so many compliments on how nice my pajamas looked and it made me feel so great! My mom gifted me these jammies, and I would suggest grabbing a pair for yourself. We also got newborn pictures taken and I felt like I actually looked somewhat put together with these on, so again, they just made me feel great and I was so glad to have them! //ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=tf_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=theprapea-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B01CI9355M&asins=B01CI9355M&linkId=OS7BYSMCTLZZZSKT&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true
  3. A convertible crib.  Again, I wasn’t sure when we would have another baby and if we would purchase another crib. So, I wanted something that could stick with Vincent long term if we needed it to. Also, why are cribs at Baby’s R Us $700? I wouldn’t spend that much money on a bed for myself let a lone a crib for a baby. So once again, amazon.com to the rescue! We really like the modern look of our crib and I really appreciate that it’s lower to the ground. Let’s be honest, someday Vincent will climb out and I would prefer if he falls only a short distance. Also, when babies teeth they will bite the sides of their crib. I would prefer to not care if the crib looks terrible instead of freaking out because we spent tons of money on it. //ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=tf_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=theprapea-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B00FPJTY44&asins=B00FPJTY44&linkId=CSBQMS4X2IZ52GNV&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true
  4. Somewhere to put baby when you need a break.  We had this bean bag which Vincent liked for the first several weeks of life: //ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=tf_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=theprapea-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B00WORZYQC&asins=B00WORZYQC&linkId=TIRXVEDNPVBAINF3&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true   My only problem with this was trying to keep a blanket on him. Because of the way he was strapped in he would kick off blankets that I wrapped around his feet. Also, you couldn’t swaddle him and lay him on this so it was okay but maybe not the best.  Several of my friends had one of these: //ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=tf_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=theprapea-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B00C4R338S&asins=B00C4R338S&linkId=EU3T75UTM2P6MICL&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true  and said that their kids loved them for the first 3 months or so. I plan to borrow one for baby number two!
  5. Baby carrier.  I loved my Boba Wrap when V was just tiny. He loved it too! It freed up my hands if I wanted to get something done around the house and V got to be all snuggled in tight.  My husband also used it a couple times when Vincent was up and crying in the middle of the night, worked like a charm! //ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=tf_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=theprapea-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B00OHBGZA2&asins=B00OHBGZA2&linkId=HTU4OZMCXBKF66GR&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true  I stopped using this wrap at about 2-3 months because it has zero lower back support. We then switched to the Lille Baby carrier, which is AMAZING. It distributes weight across your entire torso, has lower back support, and has multiple positions. The fabric is also mesh so it breathes which is essential on warmer days! There is also a cover so that you can block out the world and baby can take a snooze while you are running errands or going for a walk. I seriously can’t say enough good things about the Lille Baby carrier //ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=tf_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=theprapea-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B00IXXYYQC&asins=B00IXXYYQC&linkId=YZZMCTVY5HFXXHEB&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true
  6. Nursing Pillow.  I used My breast friend nursing pillow, the deluxe version. The reasons I loved it are thus: it has a snap so you can snap it around your waist which means you don’t need an extra hand to carry it. This is key when you are alone with baby and you have to carry your baby to your nursing station or just generally around the house.  It also has a pocket in the front where you can stick stuff while your pillow is snapped around your waist so you can freely walk to your destination. I consistently stuck remotes, water bottles, granola bars, cell phones, and other necessities in said pocket.  Again, you want to free up your hands as much as possible so this was a life saver for me!  I also thought the pillow helped get Vincent into good nursing positions and you can use it for multiple positions which is also helpful! //ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=tf_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=theprapea-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B00XOSQU4K&asins=B00XOSQU4K&linkId=TADTRVSK53EYXK5V&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true
  7. Swaddle blankets.  You will want swaddle blankets, it will just depend on the time of year the weight of the blankets you want.  We used Summer Infant swaddles and really liked them. You can get them nice and snug and they are a good weight.  Vincent was born in February so if we used these we would usually add another blanket around him (our house is pretty chilly) but he liked these the best.  We had some heavier fleece swaddles, but I thought they were harder to work with so I recommend these.  //ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=tf_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=theprapea-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B00TTWAQZY&asins=B00TTWAQZY&linkId=W5MBDJK3FHGHZBHY&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true
  8. A video monitor.  It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, but when your baby finally leaves your room (which was THE BEST decision we ever made as parents) or you lay them down for a nap alone, a video monitor is key.  We especially appreciated the video monitor once V was older, especially when we were sleep training.  We used the  Motorola Video Monitor below.  It’s been great! You can spend tons of money on video monitors – ours is pretty simple, it doesn’t connect to our cell phones or anything, but it gets the job done.  It’s so nice to be able to click on the monitor and know if your baby is actually awake or just making sleepy nighttime noises. It gave me a lot of peace so that I could actually sleep instead of having to get up and check on the baby all the time – highly recommend investing in one!  //ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=tf_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=theprapea-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B018F1E5FQ&asins=B018F1E5FQ&linkId=WIRMP7P7LMQCCYYZ&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true
  9. Breast pads and night time nursing bras.  So once your milk comes in there is no stopping the leakage – or at least there wasn’t for me.  The breast pads were a must! They stopped many a shirt from getting ruined with leaking breastmilk.  They were also a life saver for going out in public.  Now remember, these are my suggestions for what you need before baby comes home – there is plenty of time to find good nursing bras later when you are more mobile. I just bought a few comfortable looking night time nursing bras for the beginning and used my Bamboobies nursing pads under them.  There are lots of reusable nursing pads out there – I personally have only tried the Bamboobies brand, but they worked great for me and have stood up under several washes.  I didn’t think that the disposable nursing pads made sense, I would rather save the waste and wash them instead of running out and having to buy more.  //ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=tf_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=theprapea-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B0043ZPVDO&asins=B0043ZPVDO&linkId=KYHSCZDFT2Y33GEW&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true
  10. A Amazon Prime Account.  Here’s the thing, you can buy everything you think you need or want and inevitably your baby won’t like it or you will get a recommendation from another mom of something that is better. It was impossible for me to pack up and get to Target to buy this stuff, and this is the beauty of Amazon Prime. You can order anything you need and it will ship to you FOR FREE in 2 days. Can’t wait that long? Lots of major cities now have Prime Now, where you can have stuff delivered to you same day for just $5! We used (and still do use) our Prime account all the time. It was so great to just be able to search something online and order it and not have to write it down on a list and hope that I remembered to search the shelves for it the next time we went to the store. Also, they have movies, TV shows, and music that you can stream for free which will also be a necessity when you have your 1 hour nursing sessions and you can’t take another day of soap operas and talk shows. Just go get an account now, seriously you will be so thankful. You can try it free for 30 days!<a target=”_blank” href=”http://www.amazon.com/tryprimefree/?ref_=assoc_tag_ph_1427739975520&_encoding=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=pf4&tag=theprapea-20&linkId=5IWOHVDVYB3RIRNC”>Try Amazon Prime 30-Day Free Trial</a><img src=”http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theprapea-20&l=pf4&o=1&#8243; width=”1″ height=”1″ border=”0″ alt=”” style=”border:none !important; margin:0px !important;” />

So there you have it. The 10 things that I think you should have before the baby comes home.  There is a lot of other stuff we purchased after we had Vincent for awhile (breast pumps, bottles, more clothes, etc) but you also get a lot of extra stuff from showers.  If you don’t have everything you think you need when the baby comes, THAT IS OKAY.  Newborns don’t need that much stuff and then you can feel like you have more control when you are making purchasing decisions later. This system worked well for us.

Mamas – what were your essential products when you brought your newborn home? What would you say is one thing every new mom needs? We would love to hear your ideas!

Introduction

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Vincent’s first birthday!

Recently, some pretty significant things have happened in our family.  Our firstborn turned one a few months ago. Meanwhile, Bryan and I both successfully completed one year of parenthood! This, in my own humble opinion, is really what should be celebrated at the one year mark.  Simultaneous to our son turning 1, we found out we were pregnant with little peachy #2!

As I was reflecting on our heroic first year as parents and experiencing pregnancy again, I realized all the changes that our family has gone through so far and all the changes that are to come.  Obviously, welcoming a baby into our family is  big deal – life changing, mind altering, yada yada.  But Bryan and I both had significant adjustments to make after Vincent arrived.  I became a working mom and Bryan finished nursing school launching his new career.  Babies, career, family – all these changes helped me realize that I have a lot of experiences, opinions, and musings to share and prompted me to pursue this blog.

I have kept blogs before, but they were mostly journal entries; reflections and thoughts but without greater direction or purpose.  My goal for this blog is to share my experiences in life as a working mom and everything that entails. The ups and downs, the great stuff and the hard stuff, the mishaps and the celebrations.

So I thought I would include some qualifying statements about myself to figure out if you might like this blog:

  1.  I have a relationship with God, and I do talk about it.  I hope that if you read this blog you would figure this out on your own,  but I will be up front about it.  God is the most significant part of my life.  I love discussing and debating, but please no derogatory comments from either side.
  2. I am pragmatic, sometimes snarky, and have a dry sense of humor. I am not perfect and sometimes my sarcasm, wit, humor, swearing, or opinions get in the way of demonstrating that I love you.  I apologize in advance, we are all a work in progress. Hopefully you find my sense of humor entertaining, but if you don’t that’s cool. You don’t actually have to read the blog.
  3. I am honest in all things. I am really good at being authentic and honest.  I don’t like when people sugar coat things to me and I don’t like lying to others. Sometimes this means I go really deep when it would be easier to stay on surface level, but to me its important to go deep and be genuine.  I hope you find this refreshing and not nauseating.
  4. I don’t expect you to agree with everything I say, but it would be nice. Okay, I mean it would be great if we agreed on everything, but that’s not very realistic (see #3) .  I do have a few expectations in regard to comments left on this blog – Everyone should be respectful at all time; – You can absolutely share opinions but that doesn’t require cutting someone else down.  Again, please see #2 you don’t actually have to read this blog so if you don’t agree, just find a blogger you do agree with.

So that’s a little about me and the direction of this blog. I hope that you will be back with me soon as I wonder down this working mom road.

Cheers!

Amy