Eleventy-hundred Reasons I feel Mom Guilt

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Mom Guilt: That feeling you have on the regular that you could be doing more or better. The realization of responsibility and uncertainty that you are fulfilling your child’s needs. The crushing sense of uncertainty with many parenting decisions and then wanting to make a different/better decision the next time around…. The mom guilt definition could go on. Here is an EDITED list of reasons I feel mom guilt on the daily:

  • Not letting my child “settle himself” at 3am and getting up to nurse him because he will go to sleep faster
  • Letting my child cry-it-out so that he learns to settle himself
  • Nursing my baby on a schedule ( You need to feed on demand! )
  • Nursing on demand ( Your baby needs a routine! )
  • Not wanting to nurse at 11pm, 1am, 3am, and 5am ( Nurse your baby whenever he wakes, he needs comfort! )
  • Wanting to sleep (see above timeline )
  • Eating too much chocolate for the nursing baby’s tummy
  • Not getting my child up at 5am when he wakes [ You just let him lay in bed for an hour? ]
  • Not having enough structured play for my 2 yo [He is so smart, you should do more with him! ]
  • Having too much structured play/learning time for my 2yo [Kids learn best by free play!]
  • Not having “self-care” [You need to take care of yourself in order to take care of your kids]
  • Feeling selfish for taking time for “self-care” [ Bottles, pumping, toddler hanging off of you when you leave the house and crying as you go… it’s a lot of work to take time for yourself]
  • Feeding my toddler mac n’cheese for the 4th day in a row [ because, left overs ]
  • Too much fruit and not enough veggies [ but it’s all he will eat ]
  • Telling toddler they cannot have a sugary dessert [ Ice cream mommy! ]
  • Not being flexible enough to allow toddler to have said sugary dessert
  • Being “too strict” with bed time [ between 6:30 and 7 in our house ]
  • Not being strict enough with bed time [ maybe we should be in bed at 6? ]
  • Being a stickler for the 4 month old’s routine and nap schedule [ up for an hour? time to start the nap time routine! ]
  • Worrying about the 4 month old’s naps because he is only 4 months old [ You should go do things while you can! ]
  • Not sticking to the 1 hour rule for the 4 month old and then suffering the consequences [ over tired, very upset baby at nap time ]
  • Not giving the 4 month old solids [ You know you can start him on solids now, right? ]
  • Thinking about starting 4 month old on solids [ You know that he can be exclusively breast-fed until 6 months, right? ]
  • Pushing through and nursing for a full year [ You can always just give him formula and he will sleep more ]
  • Having to supplement formula [ Your body can produce enough milk for your baby! ]
  • Not getting the toddler outside daily
  • Getting toddler outside, but not putting sun screen on [ oops ]
  • The fact that baby cannot nap because toddler needs to get outside [ He does not nap in the stroller anymore – we discovered this while in the stroller ]
  • Not playing with toddler because baby needs to nurse [ Come on Mommy! ]

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  • Sitting the toddler in front of the TV so that I can put the baby down for a nap for the 4th time that day { Daniel Tiger! }
  • Letting toddler continue to watch TV after baby is in bed because I just want to sit on the couch { Annnndddd mommy closes her eyes…just for a minute…}
  • Having a completely “tech free” day, but then realizing that the toddler actually learns something from Sesame Street { 1, 2, 3, 4, 5! Mommy 5! The count, 5! }
  • Not wearing the baby enough (He won’t feel loved and attached!)
  • Baby-wearing too much [He will never be independent! He won’t be able to sleep on his own!)
  • Not using cloth diapers….then reading that cloth diapers use more water so then it’s okay….but then reading that disposable diapers take 20 years to degrade in the land fill….the cycle starts again
  • The toddler only got 9 hours of sleep last night! { shouldn’t it be 12? }
  • Worrying every day about how much sleep each child is getting { just relax! they will be fine! }
  • Not being a “fun mom” and playing games
  • Playing games and having fun when I should be holding the baby or doing laundry
  • Doing laundry and chores instead of playing games
  • Crap, forgot to change the toddler’s diaper before nap time… did I change the baby’s diaper? Wait, when did the baby eat last?…. Now feeling guilty because I can’t keep either child’s schedule straight
  • Going back to work [ I just love being home with my kids! But isn’t that a waste of your Master’s degree? ]
  • Not wanting to stay home with the kids [ Are you just dreading going back to work? Umm… only sometimes. ]
  • Taking time to work out [ I can have it all! ]
  • Not taking time to work out [ Oh M geeeee I just want a nap ]
  • Putting the kids to bed early because I JUST CAN’T anymore

Mamas – why do we put ourselves through this? We are all trying to do our best! This self talk needs to change. We are doing the best and hardest work! We need to give ourselves a break.  As moms, we have the weight of responsibility and it’s easy to let that stress take over and not enjoy the little moments of motherhood.

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I am so thankful that every day is a fresh start. If I don’t like the way something went yesterday, I can change it today. If I tried a new parenting technique and it doesn’t work for our family, I can try something different the next time around. It’s a learning process and we all have the same goals in mind: creating a healthy home environment for our families to thrive in. That looks different for different people, but I think we can all agree that we want the best for our kids. If we all have the same goal, we can focus on supporting each other and not worrying about what we are [ or aren’t ] doing.

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