I penned (typed rather) this post before I started the blog, way bay in March when there were so many pieces of life that needed to come together. I wanted to share it as part one of two this weekend…. please take a read back to March 2016….
The past few weeks have passed like an inch worm leisurely meandering down the road, in other words, very very slowly. Do you ever find that when you face a period of waiting time automatically passes about 1000 times slower than usual?
I have entered yet another period of waiting, it seems to be our pattern the last couple of years, but this time it is different. I am waiting for thing that I am REALLY excited about. Our first ultrasound for Baby Peach number two, my mom and sister to visit, and for a 30 day prayer covenant to be up.
I should backtrack. Once we found out we were preggers again, I immediately wanted to move home. We have wanted to move back home basically since moving away, but it’s always been a “sometime in the future” conversation. Yeah, at some point we’d like to move back. Sure, it would be great to get back to Ohio sometime. But it seems like now that we are about to have 2 children under 2 that “some point” is NOW.
I like immediate decisions and action. I do not like waiting and I am not good at being patient. When I asked my work if they would relocate me to Cincinnati, I got back a vague non committal answer. It lead me to questioning if now is the right time to move. So, I decided to enter into a 30 day prayer covenant with God asking for guidance with our decision and that he would help me better understand His desire for our lives.
There have been many times in the 9 days since I made this decision that I am very upset with myself for making it. Now that I committed to it, I can’t back out! And all I want to do is talk to work and tell them what I want and make a decision! But, that’s not what I agreed to do and that’s not what God’s intention is.
As the days have crept by minute by minute, I have come to the conclusion that if nothing else results from my 30 days of prayer I will have practiced patience and waiting on God to give direction instead of taking my life into my own hands. Now, let me be clear, I do not believe that God does everything for you and you have to put nothing forward or make hard decisions. I believe that God empowers us to do the hard things, he shows us the way that is most beneficial for our lives, and if you choose to follow Him you will have a fulfilling (but probably not easy) life. I want to be clear that I think God is helping me practice patience and taking myself out of the equation and allowing God to be in control of my life. I am actually certain of this because I would do things so differently than what He does, therefore I know he is teaching me.
It is a difficult lesson, but I am learning to find peace. There are still plenty of times when I am anxious and worried, but I work to pray through this reminding myself that God does not send us anxiety or fear. He is the God who Provides (Jehovah-Jireh). He tells us “who adds one day to your life by worrying?” and one of my favorite verses, “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you” Isaiah 41:13.
How have you found God respond during times of waiting? Do you have any verses that were helpful?